Wanna be

Realisations seem to be pouring in through the back door of my mind, these days.... Don't know why they never arrived the simple way,when they ought to have.... I guess, a really tardy guest is still better than a table full of food and no one to share it with.
A couple of days ago, I was reading a fellow blogger's blog....now that's what I call a hardworking sentence..... And I realised, that her intellect, thought process, positive energy and spirit were exactly what I wanted mine to be....
And then I met a younger man who hit the right note with my hormones.... He insisted on addressing me as his elder sister, his eyes twinkling with all the vibrance and virility of his being .... and I so wanted to be younger.... by a few years....at least!

I realised tht I was the essential wanna be waiting in the wings.... to make her entry....but not so sure as whom....

So I decided to take stock...
Precariously perched on the half way mark of my thirties....way over the edge on the weighing scales.... neck deep in marital mess... up to my eyeballs in work I was pretending to be good at.... hmmmm ....if one was looking for a reason to re-write certain chapters... all available, right here!

And then a chubby little hand wormed itself into mine. My soul mirrored in two bright eyes, looked up at me and his voice trilled, "I love you, Mummy."
He is my world, and I, his. When we are together, our world is right. Even in sleep, we hold hands...TIGHT! His eyes were shining for me that evening.
And yes. At that moment, I didn't wanna be anybody.....but me....